You Don’t Need To Live A Double Life In Your Workplace

“You Don’t Need To Live A Double Life In Your Workplace.” – Raj Gavurla

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Do you come to your job or the playing field leading a double life?  You don’t need to.  How is this possible?  I’m there to work (complete tasks, etc.).  That’s what they pay me to do.  Years ago there was a job I inquired about with someone who worked for the company.  He proceeded to tell me “you have to set up equipment”.  I waited to see if he had more to say.  He didn’t.  I wasn’t interested in the job. Why?  Because work is more to me than completing tasks (it’s part of the job) and receiving benefits.   I understand you have family and friends outside of work you have fun, rewarding, and enjoyable camaraderie with.  How about having fun, rewarding, and enjoyable camaraderie with your colleagues or teammates?

Camaraderie is one of the keys that keeps employees performing, retains, and recruits. It also plays a major role in wellness (well-being), motivation, inspiration, engagement, a positive attitude, leadership, and execution.

What’s a solution to nurture camaraderie in the workplace?  By using a small group personal team matters approach. Do you have thousands, hundreds, less than fifty, ten to twenty, five or fewer employees or teammates?  The larger the business, organization, or team the harder it is to have camaraderie with everyone.  Regardless of size test the following:

Break up into “small personal teams”.  A “small personal team” is a group that discusses (has dialogue) about personal matters not directly related to your job.  For example, your family, what you’re doing this weekend, what you did this past weekend, your health, nutrition, fitness, your parents, kids aspirations, your non-work challenges, crisis, someone passing, accident, hobbies, movie, best place to get something, book you’re reading, mountains, sports, festivals, etc. Apply the learning.

A Customized Structure Might Look Like:

1.  Ask people to participate sharing why.  Do not require them to participate.

2.  For those who join a personal matters team, make what’s discussed confidential. That doesn’t mean you can’t share your situation with someone outside of your group.  Use your discretion.

3.  Meet once a week for 45 minutes to an hour in a quiet place (conference room, courtyard, etc.)

4.  Talk about and share personal matters important to each group member

5.   Close the meeting

Use Metrics and Collect Data On The Outcomes:

Are employees mentally performing better?

Is employee retention increasing?

Is it easier to recruit?

What effect does it have on wellness (well-being), motivation, and inspiration?

What effect does it have on engagement, a positive attitude, leadership, and execution?

Small Personal Matters Team Examples:

Look at an amazing family

Look at a business team.  One of the things employees, athletes, investors, donors, and philanthropists look at is the teamwork exhibited.

Look at our military.  They have tremendous camaraderie protecting each other, to survive, and protect us.  They know each other and have nicknames for each other making it easier to accomplish their mission.

Look at a sports team and you hear athletes talk about the camaraderie or if retired the camaraderie is what they miss.

I remember from reading Oscar Robertson’s biography he worked with people of a different skin color and they never had time for camaraderie.  Just do the work because in those times that’s how it was.  People didn’t know each other at work and never met outside of work with people of a different skin color.  He said, “that hurt”.  I’m sure some people of the other skin color had the same thought and feeling, “that hurt”.  Thankfully, we the people have made tremendous cultural and societal progress.

Another example, I went to college to graduate/get an undergraduate degree in electrical engineering.  That was the main goal.  It’s the camaraderie with a few friends I remember and miss most.  Although we don’t talk often or see each other as often I know, feel, sense, and believe we are connected forever.

My final example are my friends from Leadership Greenville.  I shared with a small personal matters group my mom had a stroke.  One told me his dad passed away from a stroke and another told me they had a family member who had a stroke and it’s a slow process.  People get better. Until the emergency personnel told me your mom had a stroke, I’ve heard of the word stroke but knew nothing about it.  Learning about a stroke and talking with my small personal matters team gave me lived experience insights I couldn’t get from a textbook that helped me to mentally perform to be a caregiver for my mom to make her well.  She is talking better and she needs and wants to walk better and drive a car.

Implementing small personal matters teams in your businesses, organizations, and teams might transform the narratives, conversations, and outcomes.  It should be helpful too and take pressure off and inhibit the performance anxiety your employees, team leaders, supervisors, managers, bosses, management, executives, and owners are experiencing. Yes, conventions, conferences, and special events are still needed and wanted for all your employees or sports team to participate in.

A goal is not always meant to be reached, it often serves simply as something to aim at. 

– Bruce Lee

For programs and services, contact Raj at 864.569.2315,

About the Author Raj Gavurla

Raj helps and works with individuals, teams, and athletes that want to experience human performance, life, organizational development and breakthroughs interconnected with your life, business, and sports.

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