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“Win fun enjoy living a robust life making lives better to set personal best records experiencing intelligent breakthroughs in human performance, life, organizational development & breakthroughs.  That means some win more, each wins, and no one loses unless there is violence.” – Raj Gavurla“

Seeing the violence occurring locally, nationally, and throughout the world, what can be done to bring civility? Why are people verbally attacking each other maliciously, denigrating, and degrading them self or another person? 

This doesn’t honor the human dignity people need to help and work together to forward, elevate, and thrive humanity individually and collectively to raise the standard of living making people a better life, better living, and better future.

The English language is a lexicon of robust words of vibrancy and comity. How come more people don’t use them instead of violent words to describe non-violent experiences, situations, and sporting events? From the early days one can think we’ve come a long way from having to literally fight to survive and eat daily. Therefore, using violent words instead of killing was the next level of success. Hence, the fight/flight response. Important to know there are more responses bringing an abundance of sharing and connection. How about the sharing with each other without putting each other on the defensive response, the only win fun better common outcomes response, or the make lives better response, prevent deaths response, and save lives response?

With this sharing, connection, and building relationships with good communication more is learned and apply the learning. What are examples:

1. Someone says “we, they, you or I killed them” or “I killed him or her.” when referring to an experience, situation, or sporting event. Really, who was killed? Thankfully, no one.
2. In business or on a team people dismissing an idea or someone’s input saying, “you don’t know anything” or taking something a colleague said out of context and having a “grudge” against them instead of talking with them to help seeing this as an opportunity to correct a colleague to promote your values, good communication, and good relationship building to make your organization stronger. Your colleague will be thankful for you making the effort to embrace them versus disliking them and other colleagues will sense a good workplace culture and environment.
3. When watching basketball, I hear announcers say and “a dagger” or “go for the jugular” to describe a three pointer or dunk. I’m glad there wasn’t “a dagger” and everyone’s “jugular” is in place. I would much rather hear it was an amazing high arching shot soft through the net or they are finishing or closing the game.
4. Then, there is the “punch them in the mouth” or “we’ll kick your _ _ _.” Gratefully, there was no fist fight and no one was kicked. I would much rather hear win fun better outcomes the right way or what’s important is what we do and how we perform or play not what they do.

This usage of violent and malicious words and language is projecting itself into politics. Whether it’s during a presidential campaign or when politicians rally their base to “fight”. Some people take this literally being frustrated, have no emotional control, and cause societal violence. Why not instead rally them to “win fun better common outcomes” or “work together”?

These are just a few of the examples coming to my mind. My learning point is each example can be spruced with better words and better language making the description of the experience or situation more meaningful and pleasurable. It also becomes an educational teaching moment on people skills, realizing the essence of life, citizenship, and sportsmanship.

Unfortunately, these examples carry over into our kids lives as they watch t.v. and have social and educational experiences, situations, and play sports at school. The need for the use of better words and better language is a way to eschew conflict and violence in our kids school and during sporting events. The Bestie Boys lyrics “you missed two classes and no homework” “you gotta fight for your right to party”. Why not “you gotta only win fun better outcomes for your right to party?” Why are there fights at kids games by kids or adults? That’s non-sense! We don’t do that here.

By using better words and better language when describing an experience or situation you create good communication and good communication builds good relationships.

The following is my value graphic I use when helping and working together with an individual, group, or team to develop and make breakthroughs.

I’m always learning and apply the learning. Apply the use of better words and better language to see how civility and dignity by each person builds good communication, good relationships, and brings more civility locally, nationally, world wide, and globally.

Reflect on your experiences, situations, and sporting events. Could you have used better words, better language to create good communication and build good relationships to help and work together towards only win fun common better outcomes? Some win more, each wins, and no one loses unless there is violence.

What refulgent effect would this have in your family, with friends, in your workplace culture and in your environment? Would there be less stress, less anxiety, less yelling, less unhappiness, less loneliness, more civility, better outcomes, compassion, respect, helping and working together instead of denigrating and degrading your own or another person’s brain and mindset?

Apply the learning. This slight adjustment in our frame of mind I know and believe ignites peace over violence one on one, one by one.

“Praise people being careful, intelligent, and mature.” – Raj Gavurla

If interested, for your specific situation contact me at 864.569.2315, raj@rajgavurla.com to help you and your team.